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an excerpt from the real junk drawer

Nobody who knows me at all will be surprised that I have a very accomplished junk drawer, (a real life junk drawer, not the odd collection of thoughts that I post every once in awhile). Now, within this junk drawer resides a separate sorting bin where I empty my pockets every day. In other words, it’s concentrated junk, the holy of holies of the junk drawer world. Unless I forget something while getting ready, which happens a lot, I’ve got two sets of keys, a phone, a notebook and pen, a wallet, a pocketknife, and a flashlight in my pockets. The bin is probably nine inches by seven inches, but somehow I don’t have room for my regular gear. Well, another thing that shouldn’t surprise anyone is that I pick up and carry around a lot of strange things in the course of a day. So today, in a fit of organizing, I decided to clear out my sorting bin. It weighed five pounds. And because I enjoy detailed lists of miscellanea, I documented everything it contained in my handy commonplace book so I could later share it with the world. I have yet to tackle the rest of the drawer, it scares me. Pic and list after the jump. Continue reading

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1/23/12

• About once a year, my kids get interested in watching Milo and Otis. You can’t watch that movie and tell me it’s anything but 2 hours of animal abuse. They make a pug fight a bear. They throw a cat off of a cliff into the ocean. Sure, they probably survived, but only because the producers were lucky.

• Just because a thing is impossible doesn’t mean it ought not to be done.

• Nothing ever breaks at a time when it would be convenient.

• In my opinion, it is better to occasionally get into trouble because I am willing to take risks, than get stagnant because I always play it safe.

• You can and should be nice, no matter how rushed you are. You can and should be polite to everyone, even if they are serving you.

intentionally blank

Nothing in my brain has been working lately except for my imagination. I’ve been writing in the hopes that it would quiet a little of the brain noise so that I could concentrate. Not so much. I really just need to get some sleep. But at least the writing hasn’t left me empty-handed. a white card

Here’s to hoping I am a little less stupid today. If not, feel free to blame sleep deprivation.

1/14/12

• I am amazed by the things that city-folk tolerate.

• You can tell a lot about someone by the way they drive.

• Over the course of a year or two, I’ve somehow broken three of the mechanical rollers on my own car windows. Apparently, I’m rough on them.

• I used to assign myself homework, (long before I started actual school), to keep myself writing. I haven’t decided to reinstate the practice yet, but I gave it another shot last week. The following story is a result of my latest homework self-assignment. It’s embarrassingly dumb, but I’ve decided to share it anyway. An Unlikely Love Life

• Don’t say I didn’t warn you, it’s really dumb.

because I have better things to do

I just got home from “vacation” last night. A good time was had by all, and I thank my in-laws for their hospitality. Having been gone for a long time, we’ve got a lot of work to catch up on. Naturally, I decided this was a good time to do some tinkering with the blog. I wanted people to be able to find all the junk drawer posts without having to click back one post at a time. So I found them all and tagged them under Junk Drawer, and then added that tag cloud thing over on the right of the home page. Now you can just click Junk Drawer and find them all. This was in lieu of actually writing a junk drawer post. One thing led to another, however. Now I have a new goal of retroactively tagging all of my posts appropriately, since that’s something I usually neglect. I’ll get to that once something important comes up that I want to procrastinate on.

shirts and pants: a users’ guide for the layman

I’ve been paying attention, and this is what I’ve gathered so far. As a human male, I need a piece of cloth around my torso in order to be presentable. But not every piece of cloth is equal. The worst types of cloth don’t cover the arms. If I put the cloth on by pulling it over my head, it meets the minimum requirement to go out into public, but just barely. It helps if this cloth has buttons part-way down in front of the neck and a stiff part of the cloth that sticks up behind the neck.

But the really respectable pieces of cloth are put on over the arms and secured by buttons down the front. Almost all of these have the stiff pieces of cloth behind the neck. If the cloth covers all the way to the wrists, this grants the wearer a greater measure of authority, or denotes that he is somehow deserving of more dignity.

This isn’t the end though. The addition of a separate piece of cloth tied around the neck is a great improvement, but only when the stiff portion of cloth is present behind the neck. Another improvement is to stuff the entire bottom portion this cloth into the cloth that covers the legs.

The leg covering cloth is of absolute necessity. It can be broken down into four categories: Made of denim, not made of denim, covering all the way to the ankles, and not covering all the way to the ankles. Of these, not made of denim and covering all the way to the ankles is usually the best. Made of denim and not covering all the way to the ankles is always the worst. I made a chart to aid in understanding.