I think I’ve got fireflies where my caution should be. – Joey Comeau

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. – H. L. Mencken

Who can tell when his world is going to change? Who can tell before it happens, that every prior experience, all the years, were a preparation for… nothing. – William Goldman

That canary I had? I was always scared somebody would leave a window open and a cold wind would kill it. And then the wind did kill it and I wasn’t scared any more of that. – Ken Kesey

Slow down and smell the blessings. – Jeff R.

I’ll have to talk to myself about that. – Faith F.

I think everything is more fun if you’re a silly little girl. – Me
Certainly, it is. – Lili

It’s aggravating to be so old and still be so stupid! – Richard G.

The way to hunt is for as long as you live against as long as there is such and such an animal; just as the way to paint is as long as there is you and colors and canvas, and to write as long as you can live and there is pencil and paper or ink or any machine to do it with, or anything you care to write about, and you feel a fool, and you are a fool, to do it any other way. – Ernest Hemingway

I find that writing is a most salutary occupation at a time like this, and I spend many hours each day playing with sentences. I regard each sentence as a little wheel, and my ambition lately has been to gather several hundred of them together at once and to fit them all end to end, with the cogs interlocking, like gears, but each wheel a different size, each turning at a different speed. Now and again I try to put a really big one right next to a very small one in such a way that the big one, turning slowly, will make the small one spin so fast that it hums. Very tricky, that. – Roald Dahl

Four wheels move the body, but two wheels move the soul. – Unknown

Yes, I am qualified to beat people up. But I am pretty intelligent. That’s what throws people off. – Mr. T

The world is analog. – Steven Gillette

Oblivion is not to be hired: The greater part must be content to be as though they had not been, to be found in the Register of God, not in the record of man. – Sir Thomas Browne

Why can’t reason give greater answers? Why can we throw a question further than we can pull in an answer? Why such a vast net if there’s so little fish to catch? – Yann Martel

You shouldn’t lie till ten. There’s the very prime of the morning gone long before that time. A person who has not done one half his day’s work by ten o’clock, runs a chance of leaving the other half undone. – Emily Bronte

The real tragedy is not to leave a question unasked, but to never have a question in the first place. – Arthur Balancoire

Sand is over-rated. It’s just tiny, little rocks. – Joel Barish

The Lord himself, by the very order of creation, has demonstrated that he created all things for the sake of man. Nor is it unimportant to observe that he divided the formation of the world into six days, though it had been in no respect more difficult to complete the whole work, in all its parts, in one moment, than by a gradual progression. But he was pleased to display his providence and paternal care towards us in this: that before he formed man, he provided whatever he foresaw would be useful and salutary to him. How ungrateful then, were it to doubt whether we are cared for by this most excellent parent who we see cared for us even before we were born. How impious were it to tremble and distrust lest we should one day be abandoned in our necessity by that kindness, which antecedent to our existence, displayed itself in a complete supply of all good things. Moreover, Moses tells us that everything which the world contains is liberally placed at our disposal. This God certainly did not that he might dilute us with an empty form of donation. Nothing therefore, which concerns our safety will ever be wanting. To conclude in one word, as often as we call God the Creator of heaven and earth, let us remember that the distribution of all the things which he created are in his hand and power. But that we are his sons whom he has undertaken to nourish and bring up in allegiance to him. That we may expect the substance of all good from him alone. And have full hope that he will never suffer us to be in want of things necessary to salvation, so as to leave us dependent on some other source. That in everything we desire we may address our prayers to him. And in every benefit we receive acknowledge his hand. And give him thanks. That thus allured by his great goodness and beneficence, we may study with our whole heart to love and serve him. – John Calvin

I know. I’m sorry. But weariness is a kind of madness. And there are times when the only feeling I have is one of mad revolt. – Albert Camus

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. – Elisabeth Kubler Ross

I’m having fun. It just doesn’t look like it. I haven’t notified my face. – Jeff R.

Drowning is almost always a deceptively quiet event. – Mario Vittone

Time alone reveals the just; a villain is detected in a day. – Sophocles

Television distracts us from the onerous necessity of finding projects to construct in the vacuity of our frivolous lives: by beguiling our eyes, television releases our mind from the great work of making meaning. – Muriel Barbery

I think we mess with natural selection too much. I mean, we’re required to wear seat-belts? Let the dumb die! – Jen T.

Do I need to pretend that I care? Would that make you feel good? Or does it really matter? – Brandie R.

I never trust anyone who’s more excited about success than about doing the thing they want to be successful at. – Randall Munroe

People say that violence never solves anything, but historically speaking, that’s how every single thing was solved in the 1940’s. – Seanbaby

It’s always good to have an extra fish tank. Just in case. – Dane F.

With the arrogance of youth, I determined to do no less than to transform the world with Beauty. If I have succeeded in some small way, if only in one small corner of the world, amongst the men and women I love, then I shall count myself blessed, and blessed, and blessed, and the work goes on. – William Morris

So I’m thinking, “Do people really eat this?” Well… I did. But I didn’t feel right about it. – Jeff R.

My only wish is to die in harness, taking the name of God with my last breath. – Mohandas Karamchand  Gandhi

Prayer is better than sleep – The Hazzan

We’re qualified to do anything. Remember? We’re support staff. – Jeff R.

There’s no need to sass me like that. – Jeff R.

Do you have a bench out in front of your place? Cause you could sit and watch dirtbags all… day… long. – Jeff A.

I love poo water on my vegetables. – Eric G.

I’ve been eating feces for fifty years, why would I stop now? – Jeff R.

Don’t make me cry, it’s Christmas. – Carol K.

I’m not even dressed cool. I look like a queer. You guys are all wearing work clothes and I’ve got on a peacoat and a flipping scarf. – Joe-ness T.

I speak all dialects of Rachel. – Dane F.

Hey Tom, have you ever heard of the boobie bird? – Unnamed Student

I don’t want to be loved, I just want people to feel sorry for me. – Jeff R.

Have you been drinking this morning? -Tom
Normal. Normal! I’ve got my NORMAL face on! – Bethany P.

Fat girls don’t wear t-shirts. – Diana R.

I like Tchaikovsky. Not his music, just to say his name. Tchaikovsky. – Faith F.

You guys are sharing a plate? You’re married? That’s cool. – Joe T.

Would you like me to point out all the errors in this? – Chelsea F.

How about you not try to do gross things? – Brandie R.

If you intend to write as truthfully as you can, your days as a member of polite society are numbered. – Stephen King

Rats are called rats because they’ll do anything to survive. – Banksy

Excess ain’t rebellion. You’re drinking what they’re selling. Your self-destruction doesn’t hurt them. Your chaos won’t convert them. They’re so happy to rebuild it. You’ll never really kill it. – Cake

Tom, don’t put this on facebook. – Jeff R.

When the going gets tough, the tough grab a root and growl. – (Grandpa) Tommy

The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should live – undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet. – Oscar Wilde

I don’t want to die without any scars. – Tyler Durden

Chelsea gave me her old wallet, and there was money in it! – Faith F.
Did you give it back? – Felicia F.
Nope! – Faith F. (I got to her young)

So I put two and two together there, and I decided that you’re pissing me off! – Carl

We’re just not the sort of people for a place like that. – JaNahn F. speaking of Lake Wildwood

Can I pee on you? – Dane F. speaking to his Dad

I like to take pictures of people when it doesn’t look like they’re posing. – Dane F.
That’s hard to do with me, because I always look like a model. – Tom
Shut up, Tom. – Dane

My nutrients! Retrieve them at once, they have escaped! – Ignignokt

I don’t know what to put for music. What kind of music do I like? – Carolanne
Death metal. – Tom
I like death metal? – Carolanne
Yep. – Tom

Gayboys are so fickle! – John S. expletive omitted

Hey, there’s gum on the floor right there. – Tom
Yeah, but we waxed it! Look how shiny it is! – Dave M.

I peed my pants! – Claire J.
You don’t have to tell everyone. – Sharon J.
I peed my pants! – Claire J.

Little stuff like that makes me think bad words. – Jeff A.

Where else can you do what we do and get paid what we get paid? – Jeff A.
Jail. – Jeff R.

Lili, are you trouble, or are you a good girl? – Tom
Trouble – Lili

Tom…I’m scared…I’m scared! I’m scared! I’m scared! I’m scared! – unknown airsoft player

You stole my seat! – Faith F.
You stole my pants! – Felicia F.

Sometimes, I just want to throw things at her while she’s sleeping in the morning. – Brandy R.

See these people here? They’re in all my ads. I don’t know who they are, I found them online. – Jeff R.

I stop caring about new things every day. – Jeff R.

So.. Tom… What are you doing with that chomo stash anyway? – Jeff R.

We learned a valuable lesson. If you see a monkey table, you buy that sucker. – Jeff R.

Nothing says “I love you” like a full pot of coffee. – Carolanne

I’ve got Tommy Disease. – Diana R.
I wasn’t aware that I had a disease named after me. – Tom
Yeah, it’s when I can’t…do…anything. – Diana

Chances are good that you notice that people heed your demands. What you say and how you say it can even frighten and threaten people. You probably have used this effect to influence individuals to do what you want. – My StrengthFinder Report, (a personality evaluation).

No matter how far we progress as a society, we always leave some people behind. – Tom, (found in one of my old notebooks)

When God is buying, order steak. – Jeff A.

Tom has no honor. – Chelsea F.

That was awesome! – Eric G.
Let’s keep doing it until someone gets hurt! – Tom

You guys aren’t exactly on my list of people with good taste. – Tim W. speaking to Tom and Jeff R.

For some reason, they’re attracted to their own feces. – Dave M.

You much clean today, from Tony – Ronnie C. circa 4:00 AM

You don’t seem that much taller than me. – Tom
If we were in a fight, it would feel like I was 8 feet tall. – Eric G.
Yeah? I’d have to get a tape and measure you all laid out on the ground. – Tom
That’d be hard to do with a broken arm. – Eric
If we ever got into a fight, I would purposely break both of my arms before we started just so you would have a chance. – Tom

She’s the one! – Faith F.

My uncle used to own that place for awhile. Then his business partner basically screwed him out of the whole deal. – Dane F.
And that’s why it sucks to have a business partner. They’re always cheating you. – Tom
Hey Tom, wanna go into business together? – Eric G.
Sure. We both know I’ll be the one cheating you out of money. – Tom

She’s being stupid, that’s what she’s doing. – Name Withheld

We need some leather vests! – Eric G.

There’s a violent solution to every problem. It’s not usually the best solution, but sometimes it’s the only one. – Tom

Are you in? – Eric G.
You would have to cork me if I told you how in I am. – Tom

Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you. – John Steinbeck

Don’t you bother my baby, there’s no telling what she might do. That girl she may cut you, she may shoot you too. – Muddy Waters

Dude, I suck as a person who eats things. – Eric G.

Okati tiscondi, apuendi, namaste. – Machine of Rejection

“Someone has dared,” the gunslinger said.
“Who would that be?”
God,” the gunslinger said softly. His eyes gleamed. “God has dared.” – Stephen King

All small boys born to the High Speech must face the dark alone – Stephen King

Hey Mom, is it okay if I bring Tom home and we bake a cake? – Dane F.

Yeah, we do all kinds of irresponsible things there. – Tom
You really should have a backup plan in case you get fired… I bet you could get a good job at a grocery store. – Carolanne

You’ve got grass all over your sweatshirt. – Tom
This is how I roll. – Chelsea F.

Go sell crazy someplace else, we’re all stocked up here. – Melvin Udall

My mind is my weakness! – The Tick

Beware the fury of a patient man. – John Dryden

You smell like rotten goat guts! – Lexi T.



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